Thursday Thirteen: Careers I Won’t Pursue

Today’s my 37th birthday.

It’s my 6th (?)  week on unemployment. Since my lay-off came at the end of summer vacation, I haven’t had a hard time “adjusting” to my new routine, really. But sooner or later (ok, I’ve got 94 weeks) the unemployment will come to an end, and I will need to at least try something else out to see if it’s what I want to be when I grow up. I haven’t quite hit on what it is I’d lik to do, so instead I thought I’d start eliminating careers instead.

1) Medical Doctor: the amount of school required, along with the insane hours is enough to automatically remove this path from my list of possible careers.

2) Lawyer: again with the schooling, along with the hours.

3) Air Traffic Controller: the schooling, the hours, the stress…. I’m noticing a pattern, are you? It looks like I don’t want really want a high-pressure, super-engaging job at this point in my life.

4) Radio DJ. I’ve listened to the same music since college. Would you listen to a station whose playlist only included REM, Dave Matthews, and Depeche Mode, with the occasional Glee Mash Up thrown in? I wouldn’t.

5) Baker: True confession– I SUCK at baking from scratch.I don’t think there’s much of a market for baking from a box.

6) House Cleaner: True Story, I cleaned hotel rooms one summer. It sucked. Also, I can’t keep my own house clean, so the chances I could keep someone else’s house clean is slim to none.

7) Bartender: I am, what my husband calls, “a spiller”. Probably I shouldn’t work somewhere that requires “not spilling” on a regular basis!

8) Hairdresser: I never once, as a kid, thought I could cut my own hair. I think there’s a reason for this….

9) Nail tech: I have spilled (see #7) nail polish on carpets, bedspreads and more. Probably not the best choice.

10) Stylist to the Stars: The key to my fashion sense is simple — if it’s on sale, I buy it; if it’s clean, it can be worn. Somehow, I think the likes of Oprah are expecting something more than that.

11) Graphic Designer: note the lack of header on this here blog. Enough said.

12) Candle Maker: I saw the old timey people at the local history park give a workshop on the this. It takes a LONG time. I sometimes forget I’ve set things in the oven/on the range to cook. Until I can master rice, I should stay away from candle making, me thinks.

13) Chiropractor: I’ve been going to one for years, but there is NO WAY I could twist someone’s neck. NO. WAY. And I’m pretty sure that’s a job requirement.

So there you have it — thirteen careers I can knock off my list without a second thought. If I keep narrowing it down, I may very well discover what it is I’m meant to do next…..

So tell me — what’s a job/career that you can just mark of your list as “NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN”? Come on, you can tell me!

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6 Replies to “Thursday Thirteen: Careers I Won’t Pursue”

  1. LOL.. love your list and keep going… you’ll find the perfect job through elimation. RE: #12… all I can say is “automatic rice cooker”…. saved my life!

  2. Great list – loved #10, hilarious! Never going to happen for me: Working in a bookstore – I’d be fired the first day for excessive reading on the job!

  3. Happy Birthday! I’m with you on all thirteen – I am also a spiller – hmm, perhaps we shouldn’t sit next to each other when we go out to eat. . . I like to bake but I think baking a lot of something every day would get old. One set of coconut cupcakes with lime icing – delish. Two sets, ok. 50 sets, umm, no. I also don’t want to do any job where someone’s life depends on me. It’s stressful enough having small children in the house and worrying about bad guys breaking in, or fire, or a tornado in the middle of the night and racing down the long hallway to the basement with a kid under each arm. . . not that I’m a worrier or anything. Sounds like you need a job 1) involving no liquids 2) involving no manipulation of body parts 3) involving no school or lots of working hours. Hmm.

  4. Love love love this list and I can relate to much of it. Thank you, also, for being kind enough to take pity on my small meager blog and to come visit. 🙂

    Jobs I should never do? Just one? Well….Im so not qualifiied for so much….High Rise Construction–I am afraid of heights and accident proned . Im currently sporting a broken toe and black / blue foot, getting over a cold, a broken nail that tore the skin and a HUGE lump on my head from a traumatic head to shoppping cart injury—Im still unable to discuss it without flash backs. So I figure, if I have this much trouble walking on flat ground and I can’t fly, don’t bounce real well…I should stick to lower surfaces.

    And Im still looking into helmets for aforementioned lower ground foraging.

  5. Oh and happy birthday, If I had known it was your birthday I would have made cupcakes…and eaten them..then cried…perhaps its better that i didnt , you know how emotional I get

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