It’s Been Five Years…

Since adoption became an every day word and thought in this house. Five years ago this month, we went to an informational session that would change our lives forever, and that would lead to us becoming parents less than a year later.

Here’s my post about some of those beginning thoughts and feelings at Grown In My Heart.

The Burning Building Test

Today I was cruising around the internet, saw a reference to “using an adoption agency that knows what the burning building test…”…and with a little help from Google, I was able to find out myself what that was all about. I found this post at Weebles Webblog and it made me feel better. I have no doubt in my mind that this is how J feels, and I am very, very glad that BgK and I are on the ground, ready to catch McBaby.

My biggest fear is that if she does have second thoughts, will she go through with it anyway because she doesn’t want to disappoint us? She’s expressed how grateful she is that we are willing and able to do this. She has said she wants the best thing for this baby. But still.

Thank you for your encouraging comments on “It’s Weird”–you are truly wonderful, my friends (virtually and in real life).

It’s Weird

After we adopted MAM, I was very content for a long time with having an only child. One of the reasons we weren’t jumping on the “updating the homestudy” bandwagon was because I couldn’t imagine “managing” two open adoptions.

You see, MAM’s birth family lives 20 minutes away. They actually live closer than any of our relatives. Currently, I am most in touch with J, MAM’s bmom. We talk on the phone weekly, and text sporadically. We visit about every other month at this point. I still can’t imagine doing that with whole other set of people connected to another baby.

Which makes this current situation ideal, right? Here we are, potentially expanding our family, without having to navigate another open adoption relationship. Which is true. But it also leads me to the weirdness.

The weirdness is that now J and I are friends, of sorts. I know more about her now, obviously, than I did three years ago. I know the stress she is under. I know how her mom reacted when she told her that McBaby had an adoption plan in the works. I know the crap the bdad is pulling.

I know that she will have very few visitors at the hospital, and that there are time where she will be totally alone. And that some people in her life who tell her that they will be there, won’t be there. Which will leave her with us. And while we’re great and all, it’s not quite right. And that’s where it gets weird.