Today is the first of many-to-come blog carnivals at Grown In My Heart. Today’s kick off topic is “What No One Told Me About Adoption”
1) I wish I had known that the homestudy was really more of a “getting to know you” meeting and not a white-glove inspection. I should have dusted less and relaxed a little more.
2) I wish I had known how awful and presumptive it sounds to call expectant women “birthmothers” long before they have given birth/began the process of placement.
3) I wish I could have imagined how completely and totally our children have captured the hearts of our family and friends. A snapshot of “what will be” would have warmed my heart on some of the darker days of waiting.
4) I wish I had known more about how adoption affects the families who place children for adoption.
5) I wish I had heard Tonggu Momma’s response, ” That’s private, I’m surprised you’re comfortable asking that question.”
6) I wish I had an inkling as to how instantly bonded I would become to other adoptive parents. There’s a level of connection that can’t be described, only experienced.
7) This is, of course, is impossible…but I wish I would have know how incredibly spectacular our adoption experience would be. That it would be worth every bit of heartache and wondering, every form filled out, every trip to be fingerprinted, every trip for a TB test, etc. Totally and utterly worth it.
Do you have a wish list?? Post it and then link it to Mr. Linky and meet other members of the adoption triad through Grown in My Heart!
Number two is a lesson I learned far later than I should have.
I still wish I knew #4 — especially with my brothers’ families. One domestic (closed); one international (we met the birth mom) — but each with unique stories. I wish I could find out more; so far my brothers don’t want to.
and my blog was designed (for free!!!) by The Design Girl — she’s really talented, I think. She also did our foster home’s blog.
Learning #2 is learning SO MUCH about how adoption works, doesn’t it? Great addition to the blog carnival!
I think a lot of times, “the other side” is glossed over for prospective adoptive parents. Not that it isn’t presented, but I think, especially for first time parents, you have no idea (or that much interest)in what the expectant mom is facing (because really, you really want to be an expectant mom, but for whatever reason, you aren’t, and geez, you just want a baby already). Learning more about that has been hard, but so necessary.