Oh the influences of others (real or imaginary)…

There are phrases that I’ve tried to avoid using with MAM. Most of them are related to bodily functions–right now, the “F” word is not in her vocabulary–gas, as we like to call it, is a verb and a noun and everything in between. 

“I gassed you, Mama!” 
“I smell gas! Who gassed?”
You get the idea. So much nicer than the “F” word, don’t you think?? 
Along the same lines, we’ve always referred to our rears around here as “bottoms”. Just a little more polite. We even have a hilarious video of BgK and MAM sledding down a hill, hitting a bump and BgK screaming, “my boootttooommmmm!!!” Which, I do have to say, is hysterical. 
So imagine my surprise when she came home from school yesterday and says, “Dominic says, ‘My butt!! My butt!!’ “while pointy to her own little tushy. What’s more disturbing? We are pretty sure Dominic is imaginary, as there is no Dominic enrolled in the entire school, and her teacher can’t figure out to whom she could possibly be referring. Which then leads to, who, exactly, enlightened my daughter as to the whereabouts of her butt? Is Dominic going to be the scape goat of the class now, taking the fall for all of the real children she’s surrounded by so that no one else gets in trouble? I may need to see if anyone else goes home talking about Dominic…..
What have your kids come home with in these first few weeks of school??? 

2 Replies to “Oh the influences of others (real or imaginary)…”

  1. Ahhh, the polite euphemisms vs. the anatomically correct specifics.

    Niece #3 got the latter; at age 3, she sang loud and clear at the grocery store, “IF YOU’RE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT, WIGGLE YOUR VAGINA!”

    That is why Niece #4 got the euphemisms.

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