Something that we’ve been trying to get done for a few weeks now is our post-placement visit. In Indiana, the agency needs to check in on the adoptive family and baby after placement, before a date for finalization can be set. With a very busy agency (three adoptions last week–can you imagine?) and a very busy family, it’s been a trick to get it scheduled. As a matter of fact, when our social worker called reschedule last week, she asked if we’d come to the all-day workshop the agency was holding Wednesday as guest speakers.
This is the all-day workshop where potential adoptive parents learn more about adoption, the legal side of things, the details that you need to know before being entered into the pool of waiting couples. I remember our workshop vividly, as well as our lunch break where BgK and I really hit it off with Stork and her hubby. I remember the adoptive mom who came in with her baby, who came and told her family’s adoption story. Four years ago if you had told me that I would be that mom through adoption, I would be that mom, but instead of one baby, I’d be bringing two with me…..I would have laughed in disbelief. Four years ago we were in such a different place than we are now.
So BgK met us at the agency, and we made our way to the conference room, where there was a large group potential adoptive couples. And I remember sitting on that side of table. The taking notes. The trying to imagine getting “the” phone call. The trying to imagine really bringing a baby home.
And so I tell our story. Of finding the agency, of just knowing that this was the right place for us. Of making our scrapbook, of waiting and wondering….and, one random day in July of 2005, getting “the” phone call.
We told them of MAM’s adoption story–the hospital stay, the coming home, the welcoming by family. Of the relationship with her birth family.
Then we told them of the phone call we got last November, and how that changed our lives. And of how we waited this second time around, how it was unexpected but a no-brainer.
And we told them of Junior’s birth–and how it was so different from MAM’s, how waiting for the actual placement was little more stressful.
We told them about where our current relationship is with the birth families–the good, the bad and the somewhat ugly. And how our relationship with J has evolved with technology–where we used to email, we now text message. And that it’s fairly comfortable, most of the time.
They asked questions about open adoption–good questions. We answered them as honestly as possible. The agency is really trying to get potential adoptive families to consider open adoption–and if we aren’t the poster family for it , I don’t know who would be.
When it was all over, we chatted through our post-placement visit, updating the social worker on everything that is Junior, and how the entire family has adjusted. As MAM ran around the conference room, Junior cooed and laughed and eventuall ate, I think she realized that we’ve adjusted just fine.
With any luck, we will be finalizing before the end of 2008!
I wish I liked our agency enough to speak to potential families 🙂
Aside from the beginning of our friendship, some of the most vivid things I recall about OUR day-long session w/ the agency were the videos of birthmoms who had placed through the agency – that went a LONG WAY toward breaking down some stereotypes and allaying some fears we had; and the visit by the adoptive mom to tell their story.
Can you believe now WE’VE been those moms telling stories??? It’s wild. I wonder if they’ll ever ask us back….
Anything we can do to talk about all the positive and necessary things that go along with open arrangements is such a blessed opportunity!!!
wow, that is so great that you were able to do this! At our adoption orenintation they brought in a family who had 4 bio kids and then adopted a sibling gropu of 4 kids!!! it was insane, and most of them came! It was really neat getting to hear from the kids perspective though and what they thought about adoption, as most of these kids were older, and sadly almost all adoptions through the gov have to be closed, because the kids are all removed from the home for some reason! I wondered at that seminar if I would ever get to be the mom in front of a group of potential adoptive parents sharing our stroy, I hope one day that i am!
am so glad that you will be able to write a guest post for my site next month…still looking for more domestic parents if you know of any.