Category: Open Adoption

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Sweet Hope, one of three "little" adoption doses today

Some days, I don’t think about adoption much. Other days? It sort of takes over my brain. And other days? It sort of comes from different directions all at once. Today was one of those days. Three tidbits, all adoption related.

1) Our agency newsletter came today. They always have short adoption stories, and I always read them. This one started out with a girl name Heidi, who was planning on placing her infant, Josh, with the Kennedy family. She had placed her infant daughter three years earlier with the Kennedys (I’m thinking, “how weird!! did someone else at the agency do this recently too?!!!)….when Josh was born June 21….um hi. We’re the freakin’ Kennedys. Because our real name isn’t Irish Catholic enough (??!?!?) Anyway, it was neat to read a quick, sanitized version of our story in the newsletter. BgK wants to cut it out, and put a copy of it in Junior’s baby book, with a little note saying, “this is you!”

2) At dinner tonight, my good friend told me that his brother and his wife, after 3 rounds of failed IVF, are calling a local adoption attorney to start the domestic adoption process. This, of course, is a huge step. I, of course, told him to give them our number.

3) After all of this, I check my email, and there is an email from Beth, telling me all about Sweet Hope, a fundraiser run by her friend Elle, which raises money every year to help families adopt and to help orphans awaiting adoption. Elle hand makes scrumptious chocolate truffles, and the money she makes helps adoption causes near and dear to her heart. This year, it looks like the money raised will go to the children in the orphanages in Russia. How incredible is that?? Orders can be placed until November 28th, so check out Sweet Hope and order already. Also, if you post about Sweet Hope, leave a comment at Beth’s post–she’s got a giveaway going on to help get the word out!

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Sharing our Story and Post-Placement Visit

Something that we’ve been trying to get done for a few weeks now is our post-placement visit. In Indiana, the agency needs to check in on the adoptive family and baby after placement, before a date for finalization can be set. With a very busy agency (three adoptions last week–can you imagine?) and a very busy family, it’s been a trick to get it scheduled. As a matter of fact, when our social worker called reschedule last week, she asked if we’d come to the all-day workshop the agency was holding Wednesday as guest speakers. 

This is the all-day workshop where potential adoptive parents learn more about adoption, the legal side of things, the details that you need to know before being entered into the pool of waiting couples. I remember our workshop vividly, as well as our lunch break where BgK and I really hit it off with Stork and her hubby. I remember the adoptive mom who came in with her baby, who came and told her family’s adoption story. Four years ago if you had told me that I would be that mom through adoption, I would be that mom, but instead of one baby, I’d be bringing two with me…..I would have laughed in disbelief. Four years ago we were in such a different place than we are now. 
So BgK met us at the agency, and we made our way to the conference room, where there was a large group potential adoptive couples. And I remember sitting on that side of table. The taking notes. The trying to imagine getting “the” phone call. The trying to imagine really bringing a baby home. 
And so I tell our story. Of finding the agency, of just knowing that this was the right place for us. Of making our scrapbook,  of waiting and wondering….and, one random day in July of 2005, getting “the” phone call. 
We told them of MAM’s adoption story–the hospital stay, the coming home, the welcoming by family. Of the relationship with her birth family. 
Then we told them of the phone call we got last November, and how that changed our lives. And of how we waited this second time around, how it was unexpected but a no-brainer. 
And we told them of Junior’s birth–and how it was so different from MAM’s, how waiting for the actual placement was little more stressful. 
We told them about where our current relationship is with the birth families–the good, the bad and the somewhat ugly. And how our relationship with J has evolved with technology–where we used to email, we now text message. And that it’s fairly comfortable, most of the time. 
They asked questions about open adoption–good questions. We answered them as honestly as possible. The agency is really trying to get potential adoptive families to consider open adoption–and if we aren’t the poster family for it , I don’t know who would be. 
When it was all over, we chatted through our post-placement visit, updating the social worker on everything that is Junior, and how the entire family has adjusted. As MAM ran around the conference room, Junior cooed and laughed and eventuall ate, I think she realized that we’ve adjusted just fine. 
With any luck, we will be finalizing before the end of  2008!
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It’s been three years


This month marks the third anniversary of getting ready to really become parents. It’s our third anniversary of knowing J, our third anniversary of really figuring open adoption out. It’s also the month of our actual wedding anniversary, which is actually this weekend–we are going out tonight to celebrate seven years of being married.

If I had had a crystal ball the weekend of my wedding, and I could have looked into the future, into the summer of 2008, I wouldn’t have believed this is my life. I don’t think I could have even have dreamed of it all–I don’t know what I would have pictured that sweltering weekend in 2001, but it wouldn’t have been as good as it really is now.