Category: Open Adoption

Posted on

The Burning Building Test

Today I was cruising around the internet, saw a reference to “using an adoption agency that knows what the burning building test…”…and with a little help from Google, I was able to find out myself what that was all about. I found this post at Weebles Webblog and it made me feel better. I have no doubt in my mind that this is how J feels, and I am very, very glad that BgK and I are on the ground, ready to catch McBaby.

My biggest fear is that if she does have second thoughts, will she go through with it anyway because she doesn’t want to disappoint us? She’s expressed how grateful she is that we are willing and able to do this. She has said she wants the best thing for this baby. But still.

Thank you for your encouraging comments on “It’s Weird”–you are truly wonderful, my friends (virtually and in real life).

Posted on

It’s Weird

After we adopted MAM, I was very content for a long time with having an only child. One of the reasons we weren’t jumping on the “updating the homestudy” bandwagon was because I couldn’t imagine “managing” two open adoptions.

You see, MAM’s birth family lives 20 minutes away. They actually live closer than any of our relatives. Currently, I am most in touch with J, MAM’s bmom. We talk on the phone weekly, and text sporadically. We visit about every other month at this point. I still can’t imagine doing that with whole other set of people connected to another baby.

Which makes this current situation ideal, right? Here we are, potentially expanding our family, without having to navigate another open adoption relationship. Which is true. But it also leads me to the weirdness.

The weirdness is that now J and I are friends, of sorts. I know more about her now, obviously, than I did three years ago. I know the stress she is under. I know how her mom reacted when she told her that McBaby had an adoption plan in the works. I know the crap the bdad is pulling.

I know that she will have very few visitors at the hospital, and that there are time where she will be totally alone. And that some people in her life who tell her that they will be there, won’t be there. Which will leave her with us. And while we’re great and all, it’s not quite right. And that’s where it gets weird.

Posted on

Playing Catch Up

I never intended to go on hiatus last Sunday–it just sort of happened. The weather got super-warm, we spend every waking minute outside that we could, and by the time I sat down I was too tired to blog. Really. When have I ever been too tired to blog??

The highlights, that would have all been separate posts had I had the wherewithall:

MAM is really potty training now. Didn’t I say that in the fall? Yes, I did, but then the faux scabies hit and she lost all momentum, and she spent the winter, and part of the spring just doing her business in pull ups (dumb and a waste of money, but I was holding out hope). So two weeks ago I asked her the question, “do you want to go potty before mama or after?” and she said, “after”, and so commenced round two of toilet learning. Throw in a little candy, a LOT of stickers, and panties in the mail from Grandma, and we have a dry, dry girl who practically prances to the potty with delight. I think this is the real thing.

Friday night we started deep cleaning all of our carpets. We spent the entire weekend spring cleaning and removing invisible sludge from our carpets. Seriously, SO GROSS. But things are lovely now.

We went on a family bike ride this weekend, totaling 16 miles. It was a lovely day and a lot of fun.

Hopefully we’ll be going on many more rides…until June 25th. That’s the anticipated delivery date of McBaby. There will be no more ultrasounds, so we’ll just have to be patient to discover if it will be pink or blue. J and I have been having some really good conversations lately. More on that soon–that really does warrant it’s own post.

Since we won’t be knowing gender, any room-theme makeovers will have to be put on hold. The room is pretty simple–just a few girly accents at the moment. I’m thinking some matching dressers, a crib (!), a twin bed….and the kiddos will be all set.