About being presumptuous

In a way, it feels presumptuous to be posting all about this before it’s a done deal. From the day she told us about the baby (back in November), though, we’ve been coming to terms with the fact that one way or another, this baby will be in our lives. Maybe as our son, but always as MAM’s brother.

You know, it is much easier to talk about ethical, open adoption when you’re not in the middle of it. When things go smoothly. When things happen as planned.

Today, it’s not so easy to write about. Today, it’s not going smoothly. It started with the social worker calling to say, “there’s been a delay”, and well, it’s ended with an appointment set for tomorrow.

Which means MAM’s brother didn’t come home with us today. He was released with J. There’s a lot going on, and I couldn’t make it up, but don’t really want to post it all either. None of it is really adoption related, but it’s messed up J’s vision for how the paperwork was supposed to go down this morning.

Objectively, I can respect that, but I’m not feeling very objective. And even if I can respect that, I don’t believe that it was in the child’s best interest to go home with her today. I just don’t. And it kills me that our hands are tied.

J assures us that paperwork will be done tomorrow. The agency loaned her a carseat so he could be released. We are praying that he is safe and loved, and of course, that we meet again.