Category: Open Adoption

Posted on

About being presumptuous

In a way, it feels presumptuous to be posting all about this before it’s a done deal. From the day she told us about the baby (back in November), though, we’ve been coming to terms with the fact that one way or another, this baby will be in our lives. Maybe as our son, but always as MAM’s brother.

You know, it is much easier to talk about ethical, open adoption when you’re not in the middle of it. When things go smoothly. When things happen as planned.

Today, it’s not so easy to write about. Today, it’s not going smoothly. It started with the social worker calling to say, “there’s been a delay”, and well, it’s ended with an appointment set for tomorrow.

Which means MAM’s brother didn’t come home with us today. He was released with J. There’s a lot going on, and I couldn’t make it up, but don’t really want to post it all either. None of it is really adoption related, but it’s messed up J’s vision for how the paperwork was supposed to go down this morning.

Objectively, I can respect that, but I’m not feeling very objective. And even if I can respect that, I don’t believe that it was in the child’s best interest to go home with her today. I just don’t. And it kills me that our hands are tied.

J assures us that paperwork will be done tomorrow. The agency loaned her a carseat so he could be released. We are praying that he is safe and loved, and of course, that we meet again.


Posted on

Introducing….


Here he is, in all his unbathed glory!!!

AFM arrived at 2:29am, June 21, 2008, weighing 7lbs and measuring 19.5 inches long.

We got the call at about 10:30pm that J was heading to the ER for contractions, and the call at midnight that they were going to go ahead with a C-section–would we like to come down to the hospital?

But of course. We packed up MAM, and headed down to the hospital–she woke up immediately and started talking–and kept talking until we tucked her in at 5am this morning.

A__ arrived without a hitch, J is resting comfortably and everyone is enjoying the newness of this baby! We were able to hang with J and MB (dad) until the procedure, and then hang with the two of them and baby for about 30 minutes after surgery.

After coming home for a naps, we dropped MAM off at a friend’s and spent the afternoon at the hospital. We’ll visit for awhile tomorrow after Grandma and Grandpa arrive to entertain MAM.

Posted on

NCLM intro

I am so glad that I joined in all the fun for National Comment Leaving Month hosted by Mel. It’s been great visiting bloggers, and it’s been even better to be getting so many comments!

Things you may or may not be wondering:
My blog title is sort of half-spin on the concept of ‘gotcha day’ and half-quote of what I say when I pick up MAM when she’s crying “I gotcha baby, I gotcha..”

My hubby is not in the habit of dancing for money. Honest. At functions where there is normally dancing, he is typically not.

Hubby and I are parents through the miracle of open, domestic (extremely local) adoption. When our efforts to become parents weren’t working, we went to the doctors. They poked around about and our RE gave us his opinion–IVF w/ ICSI. He gave us lots to read. I read it all and felt like I was going to vomit, and knew that we weren’t going down that road. So I called the local Catholic adoption agency. We attended an orientation, and by the end of the meeting, we were both in agreement that we were going to try to become parents this way. We started the process in December of 2004, MAM was in our arms in August 2005.

We are about to add to our family again, thanks to the miracle of open, domestic (extremely local) adoption. If MAM’s adoption wasn’t open, and we hadn’t built a relationship with her birthmom, would her birthmom thought of us for this pregnancy? I have no idea.

I teach preschool and kindergarten. TODAY WAS THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!! Woo-hoo! Yes, it is as exciting as an adult as it was as a kid.

I think that covers the basics. If there’s anything else you’d like to know, please ask!

**Edited to add: My fabulous sister-in-law designed my blog layout and header. Check out her skillz at BeDesign