More placement ponderings

The monkey had a lovely holiday. She was hopelessly spoiled by her adoring fans, and seemed to revel in it all!

I also got the chance to explain her adoption to some little cousins of mine (my cousin’s kids….1st cousins, once removed?) and was glad for their very honest, uncensored, questions. What made it more interesting to me is that my cousin herself is adopted, and she’s now a single mom of 3. So when I explained that Monkey’s bmom had one child already, and decided that it would be too much to have another baby, my cousin just quietly said, “it’s tough”.

My cousin and I aren’t very close–this was our first time seeing each other in about 8 years. So I don’t know if her decision to parent all 3 of her kids was due in part to the fact that she was placed for adoption herself (at the age of 2, I think). I don’t really know. I do remember when she was pregnant the second time, both my mom and grandma asked her if she’d consider adoption, but her boyfriend was in the picture at the time, and she really was thinking things would be OK.

Now he’s long gone, she’s working, scraping by with help from assorted agencies to feed and cloth and educate her kiddos. And I have to say, she’s a GREAT mom. Her kids listen well and are very polite.

I wonder if our bmom ever thought about parenting our little monkey, and what she thought it would be like. If she thought past the first year or two, to what it would be like when both kids were in school. If that held any appeal to her, if it made the choice easier or harder.

I also finally got a hold a of GREAT book about open adoption when there is a birth sibling called Sam’s Sister. I need to find out if bbro has heard the story yet–that could be a potential bday present for him. I read it to a group of 1st-4th graders at the school where I used to teach, and they seemed to “get” it. They had a few questions for me, and, of course, were instantly in love with the Babe.

How could you not be?