Whether to Cancel or Not…because of the Weather

So today is our visit w/ baby Kahuna’s birth family. I’ve wrapped the gifts (photos), packed the cookies, written out the cards. We’re ready….but are the roads?

We got 6 inches of snow last night. Doesn’t really phase this house–we’re from the North. Unfortunately, it does phase the road crews here. It’s 9:30am and they are still broadcasting about it on television. a windchill of -5..oh my! So what do we do?

B-grandma emailed us last night urging us to cancel if the weather is bad–it’s, in her words, “Not worth putting anyone’s life at risk” ?!?!? So last night I emailed her and the b-parents that we’d wait and see what the weather was like–worse case we’d reschedule, but hopefully by 3pm this afternoon we’d be OK.

So this morning I get an email for b-grandma, saying she mentioned something about canceling due to weather to b-dad (her son), who mentioned it to b-mom, who is mad about the possiblity of canceling. So b-grandma tells me that I shouldn’t act like it was her idea if we cancel today.

OH MY, OH MY!! It’s the weather, people!! It’s not a plot against humanity. We have presents for you people. L is leaving work early. We got all of our Christmas pics done early because of all of you. Don’t be pissed at us because the weather is crappy!!

Will there always be this much drama?!? Usually I take it all in stride, but this morning’s email just…oh, I don’t know…rubbed me the wrong way? Irked me to no end b/c I wouldn’t have blamed her anyway? Just aptly demonstrated how they all operate with each other and highlighted the dysfuntion?

She’s Officially in the Clan

Our day in court went swimmingly well–everything is signed ,sealed and delivered to the appropriate parties. Our day:

6am–L heads to work early

7:30am: I get up, bake celebratory brownies and begin the straighten to the house

10 am: We get the call from the Dr’s office that Baby kahuna’s chest x-ray is negative! No pnuemonia! Phew….

12noon: Grandma arrives, Baby Kahuna gets a bath

12:30pm: Grandpa arrives, I head upstairs to get dressed

1pm:We leave for court

1:30pm:We make it through the metal detectors, turns out baby’s carseat is NOT harboring weapons or any items forbidden in the courthouse

1:45pm: We meet Daddy upstairs, and hang out….the Judge isn’t back from lunch.

2pm: Our attorney and paralegal arrive–we finally meet the people we’ve talked to over the phone. Turns out our lawyer is 77 and loving life! Who knew?

2:15pm:Our day in court! The very nice judge invites us into the “big” court room. L takes the witness stand, then I do. We answer questions like how long we’ve been married, how we got the baby, have we met the “natural” parents. Our attorney found it strange that we’d met the “natural” parents–we were rather offhanded about it, but you could tell he was curious!

2:30pm: The Judge grants the adoption decree! I notice grandma dabbing her eyes. Baby Kahuna continues to eat/sleep blissfully in Grandpa’s arms. We wake her up for pictures with the Judge. She baptizes me as “MOM” with spit-up all over me….par for the course. We head out of the court room with our party of happiness–and meet in the waiting room the next families up–seven siblings being adopted between two families. They looked pretty happy too. 🙂

All told, it was painless and happy. Rather anti-climatic, but a bit of a relief. Found out we won’t get a birth certificate til after the first of the year, so her fortune will have to sit in our savings account for a bit longer. (no SS#, no banking!)

She is now peacefully sleeping on Daddy’s chest, as if to say,”Yup, I’m home!” Actually, I think she’s known it all along.

Family Gatherings: Always a Time for Education

So we spent T-day at L’s sister’s house, and the ENTIRE clan was in full force! His sister from Miami, brother from Iowa, and the local crew. M__ got to meet the 2 aunts and 1 uncle she hadn’t yet, along with 3 more cousins. It was big fun. L’s the oldest sibling at 35, Patrick is the youngest at 23. The oldest nephew is 4, the youngest neice is a week younger than MAM. So it’s a close-in-age, similiar-in-thought kind of group. Big Fun!

I spent a lot of time talking about adoption with my sisters-in-law–they are all moms, and so, of course, they were interested. They, of course, wanted to know about the process, our contact with the birthparents, how we are going to explain it to MAM when she gets older, and some basics about the agency.

I told them to ask ANYTHING–1) so that there’s no speculation, 2) so that everyone’s on the same page when the kids are old enough to understand what’s going on. Right now we can talk about the adoption in front of her, but as she gets older, that won’t be appropriate. Also,eventually, it will be her story to tell, not ours.

Three points that I made, in hopes of getting the phrases into their families’ vocabulary:

1. MAM was born, then she was adopted.
Sometimes young children have the misconception that you are either born or adopted…not both.
2. Use the term “placed for adoption” not “given up”
Obviously, there’s connotations with both…”placed” is much more humane and accurate!
3. Adoption is a verb for a one time event.
As in, “MAM was adopted.” It’s not an adjective or a present-tense verb. It happens once, the family is formed and that’s it!

I also told them that we’re happy to chat about it because the more we do, the better we’ll get at it, so that when MAM needs answers, we’ll have the language down pat!