For reals, today’s post is just a link….did you know that The Adoption Writers at Grown in My Heart has a review/giveaway site? Sometimes I forget myself. Then I take on a post to write, and it’s all, hey! there’s this secondary blog with some fun things on it!

SO.

My first post over there is about the Energizer Ultimate Photo Contest and a battery giveaway that goes with it.

**In my defense, I’m coming off of the four-day business trip of BgK, which was sort of out of the blue. My tactic for coping is to keep the children as busy as possible. So I’m kinda tired…..

Day 10 DOWN.

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Always listening to my crazy tales

If you haven’t seen it already, Grown In My Heart is hosting a Mother’s Day photo contest/carnival  this week. I’ve known about this project for almost two weeks, but here I am, getting my link in under the wire.

This project has been good for a few things, including bringing to my attention that I don’t have many photos of my mom on my computer. Also, I either need to steal my dad’s files that he’s been scanning for the past 5 years or start getting my printed photos on a portable hard drive somehow.

Anyway……this photo was taken almost seven years ago at my surprise 30th birthday party. I have . NO idea what I was telling her, but she, as she always is, was interested. Because she’s my mom and she’s awesome.

(an aside…that’s my grandma (dad’s mom) in the background, at the time she was not quite 90, now she’s a spry 96.5!!!)

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Today (4/15/10) has been declared “An Adoption Blogger Day” by the Joint Council on International Children Services. It’s a day for families involved with adoption to tell their stories. Stories that talk about the day-to-day. Stories that talk about tough adoption issues. Stories that talk about love. Stories that speak the truth.

So here’s our story:

Almost five years ago we became parents through open, domestic adoption and we’ve never looked back. We’ve never regretted it. We had no idea how much our children would change us for the better. We had no idea how much we would love these children. How much we weren’t living until they arrived.

Oh the love……

A Windy Easter Sunday, 2010

I don’t know that there’s a McLinky for today’s event. But if you’re in the mood for some Adoption Truth, I’d start with the GIMH’s list of 101 best Adoption Blogs. And click here to learn more about We Are The Truth A Campaign and Call to Action EDITED TO ADD: Here’s a link to other We Are the Truth posts.

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So racism doesn’t really come into play in our lives as a component of adoption. But of course, as a white family in midwestern Americana, I know racism does exist. Indiana has an awful history of racism and hatred. In my day-to-day life I don’t see it, but that’s because I’m white.

Anyway.

My daughter attends and I teach at a very nice suburban preschool. It is probably one of the most diverse private schools in the metro area, if not the state. My classroom is nearly 50% non-white.  Many of my daughter’s friends are children of immigrants. Children who visit grandparents in Pakistan, Kenya, New Zealand, India and South Korea. There are children who’ve been adopted internationally (and bi-racially). In central Indiana, this as diverse as it gets.

My son attends the daycare where Mam did. It’s very different from our little preschool, but his class is still nearly 50% non-white. His friends speak Spanish at home and English at the center. His first three caregivers were African-American, as are many of his playmates. I feel like my children have been exposed to as much diversity as we can get in the middle of Indiana.

Given that my children do see faces of people who don’t look like them on a daily basis, I’ve always sort of approached race by not approaching it–my thought was always not to point it out, and my children wouldn’t see it. Or they would see it, but they wouldn’t think much of it.

Then I read Nurture Shock. And realized I was wrong. The authors of Nurture Shock illustrate how children naturally sort and classify the world. If a group of children is divided by say, the color of their t-shirt, they automatically assume allegiance to their color. It makes sense. They further go on to illustrate answers children gave in regards to race, and how they do segregate the world by race, only they don’t talk about it because they’ve learned from their parents not to talk about it. Oh boy. I’m not explaining it well, but suffice it to say, after reading it, I feel like I’ve been doing a disservice to my own children as well my students.

Oh. My. Word. I have some explaining to do to my kiddos. I haven’t quite figured out how to talk to them about this, but I will. I have to. I’m their mom. If I don’t, who will????

Have some thoughts about racism? Link up at Grown in My Heart!!

Help support GIMH! Vote for our Room of Your Own at BlogHer!

Log-in to BlogHer and then vote as an attendee.(you don’t have to actually be going)

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Even when the sun isn’t out, there is a terrific glare off the snow. I’m counting that as sunlight for my sanity.

So it’s only natural that summer dreams have been developing this week. Remember summer? Remember warm? Remember sunshine?

The gals at Grown in My Heart have made a plan for summer–we are going to BlogHer ’10 in NYC. We’d like to get a slot in the Room of Their Own program–where we’d be the panel and discuss the delicate nature of sharing your family life and reproductive challenges on the Internet.

If you have two seconds, please click through here, and vote for our proposal: http://www.blogher.com/room-of-your-own-10

You do need a BlogHer account, and once you’ve signed in, please vote for us. We’d appreciate it…..and if you’re going to BlogHer ’10, give a shout out!

Here are few flashbacks to a warmer, gentler time:

It was sooo hot the day we saw Niagra Falls, the plastic ponchos were a bit much!

The water was so warm in the Atlantic this was a sunset splash. SO WARM OUTSIDE!

Look! The Fox is wearing a romper. Not pants. He's wearing sunscreen. He's sitting on this stuff called grass. Haven't seen grass since January...

Related posts:

1. Staged
2. It’s Been a Decade (full of cake, laughs, and love)
3. Contain Indy

“We are thankful for the food before us,

We are thankful for the friends beside us,

We are thankful for the love among us,

We are thankful.”

My list is a long one. As I sit here in a warm house, cozy on the couch, typing on my laptop with two sweet babies asleep upstairs, it’s hard to know how to begin.

Since this post is for Grown in My Heart, a community I wouldn’t be a part of if it weren’t for the adoption of my children, I feel like I should start there.

I am thankful that we made the decision to adopt when we did–in the fall of 2004. I am thankful that all of our paper work came together (in hindsight) smoothly and quickly, for as we were becoming home-study approved, J was thinking about placing MaM for adoption when she was born. If we had been delayed, our profile book may not have been available that day in July when J went to consider prospective adoptive parents.

I’m thankful that J felt some sort of connection to us via said profile book. That there was some instant level of comfort between us. I”m thankful that she invited us to the hospital for the birth of both of the children. I am so incredibly thankful that both children were born perfect and healthy in every way.

I’m thankful that open adoption has worked out so well for our children–that they know J and they know Z. I am thankful that they are loved and accepted by their bio family and their adoptive family.

I’m thankful that I’m sharing this parenting ride with @bgKahuna, the world’s most enthusiastic dad.

I’m thankful that because of the internet, I’m connect to so many more adoptive families than I would be if the internet wasn’t what it is today.

I am thankful.

Want to link up? Join the carnival at Grown in My Heart!

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Here’s my post about some of those beginning thoughts and feelings at Grown In My Heart.

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Jr., 10 months old

1) I wish I had known that the homestudy was really more of a “getting to know you” meeting and not a white-glove inspection. I should have dusted less and relaxed a little more.

2) I wish I had known how awful and presumptive it sounds to call expectant women “birthmothers” long before they have given birth/began the process of placement.

Sweet MAM, one week old

3) I wish I could have imagined how completely and totally our children have captured the hearts of our family and friends. A snapshot of “what will be” would have warmed my heart on some of the darker days of waiting.

4) I  wish I had known more about how adoption affects the families who place children for adoption.

5) I wish I had heard Tonggu Momma’s response, ” That’s private, I’m surprised you’re comfortable asking that question.”

6) I wish I had an inkling as to how instantly bonded I would become to other adoptive parents. There’s a level of connection that can’t be described, only experienced.

7) This is, of course, is impossible…but I wish I would have know how incredibly spectacular our adoption experience would be. That it would be worth every bit of heartache and wondering, every form filled out, every trip to be fingerprinted, every trip for a TB test, etc. Totally and utterly worth it.

Do you have a wish list?? Post it and then link it to Mr. Linky and meet other members of the adoption triad through Grown in My Heart!

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Children and adults learn about culture, history, adoption heritage, and intolerance and character. Most culture camps enrich cultural literacy include physical activities, world music and crafts. By nature they accommodate different learning styles.

But what happens when your children are just too young to attend a culture camp and are seriously interested in learning about their culture or making friends from the same region or orphanage?

Perhaps your child yearns to know children who “look like them” because they are the only child in their class with dark skin or Asian eyes. This is still common in today’s society no matter how much we try to pretend it is not.

How do you integrate culture into your children’s lives when they don’t want to have anything to do with it? Do you sneak it in with fantastic cooking? Do you read great literature with them? Or do you make them sit down and learn about their history?

We have just the solution for you. Introducing a new resource for adoptive parents: a Culture Camp for Kids; What to do when they can’t do (or they don’t want to)

This e-Book features countless activities suitable for young children from around the world. Once your focus is determined, it’s time to gather supplies. A trip to the library should yield plenty of books (and we have also supplied a fabulous list in our Literature Section).

Click on the Add to Cart to purchase the first ever GIMH eBook.

A portion of every sale will go to New Day Foster Home, a special needs foster home in China.

*While this e-book was developed with internationally adopted children in mind, it’s also suitable for any family wanting to expand their world view or host an “around the world” sort of party for young children. The activites aren’t adoption-centric, rather they are activities either native to a particular country or region, or they are designed to heighten awareness. Turn off the TV and have some fun this summer!

Related posts:

1. Day Camp for Everyone!

The very first comment on my “intro” post for this month, has gotten me thinking. Michelle asked about coming to the decision to adopt.

I’ve posted a bit about how it felt at Grown in My Heart.

Here’s the thing: like so many otther things in life, I just knew. I can’t say when exactly we said goodbye to our imaginary bio child, but we did. Here’s the short version of our short stay in IF land. We didn’t really like it there, we found it involved a lot of poking and proding and sometimes surgery.

BgK and I both presented with a few IF factors, and our RE (who was wonderful and I would rec. in a heartbeat if you are in Indpls) sat us down and explained what our best shot was–IVF w/ ICSI. He gave us a lot of reading material, and I’m glad he did. I think it’s one thing to hear a simple explanation, and entirely a different matter to read a somewhat academic explanation of exactly what it happening to your body as you force ovulation, retrieve eggs, retrieve sperm, etc.

Anyway, after reading through about 75% of what he gave us, I put it all away and said no. Couldn’t do it. Wouldn’t do it. Couldn’t do it. Just couldn’t. I was overwhelmed by simply reading about all the hormones. Overwhelmed by the possibilty of having multiples, or having an army of frozen potential babies in a freezer somewhere, or going through all of this and having none of it work. Completely overwhelmed and I hadn’t even read through the entire process yet.

So we started looking for an adoption agency. And we went to two different agencies–one for international adoptions from Russia, one for a domestic agency.

And when I heard we would more than likely be able to have an adoption placement of an infant, of newborn only days or weeks old, that was it. We knew then and there that was how we would become parents.

And it was.

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