So it’s been awhile since our first phone call from St. E’s saying that there’s a b-mom out there, considering us, along with 2 other couples. Some days we actually forget about it for hours at a time. Haven’t heard any more……and we’ve put off calling about it for quite awhile–they’ll call us, right?
L finally calls today (I almost dialed yesterday but chickened out), and turns out—She Hasn’t Decided Yet!! Which means that we are still potential parents w/ a due date in August!! So, while it will SUCK if she doesn’t choose us (we’ve been out of circulation since she started considering us), she’s still considering us. I don’t know the other couples she’s looking at, but maybe we can arrange joint custody!?! Who knows, but I was encouraged today!
Tuesday afternoon I’m sitting with a small group of children and we are discussing the “parts of the car” vocabulary cards. The hood, the wheel, the trunk, etc… No mention of a family sedan or anything, but here’s the conversation:
“Mrs. M, when will you have a baby?” asks a curious five year old.
“I don’t know,” I answer.
“Why don’t you have one?”
“I’m not sure,” once agian, choosing not to explain infertility. Suddenly, the conversation sounds like one I had with my parents when I stayed out too late–trying to plead the fifth.
“Do you and Mr. M live together or are you separated?”
“We live together,” I answer, wondering where in the heck this will go.
“You live together? So why don’t you have a baby?”
Time to change the subject, and quick, before she starts asking about sleeping arrangements, “Priyanka, do you know someone who is separated?”
“Yes, my dad’s sister.”
Apparently, her aunt has dodged giving her a cousin by playing the “separated” card….
This past week we have been working on the Mother’s day projects at school. As one of my sweet girls was finishing hers up, she says,” I was thinking that maybe you would like a surprise for mother’s day. Would you like that?”
I smile and say,” But I”m not a mother!”
Sweet girl #2 says,” But you are married.” (Here we go again…..)
I then explain a few terms,” When you are married, you are a wife. You’re not a mother until you have a child.”
Sweet girl #1, ” So you don’t get a surprise on Mother’s day?”
As tempted as I am to put in a plug for a free gift, I clarify one more time,” I am not a mother. I”m a teacher, but not a mother. I am giving a present to my mother for Mother’s day, but I don’t have a child to give me a present for Mother’s day.”
“Oh. So you don’t need a surprise for that day?” askes sweet girl #1 for clarification.
“Well, you are kind of like our mother,” says sweet girl #2.
Ah, but not so much as your own mother, I think to myself. I am a trusted caregiver yes, but not actually a mother. Not this year, anyway….