Tuesday afternoon I’m sitting with a small group of children and we are discussing the “parts of the car” vocabulary cards. The hood, the wheel, the trunk, etc… No mention of a family sedan or anything, but here’s the conversation:
“Mrs. M, when will you have a baby?” asks a curious five year old.
“I don’t know,” I answer.
“Why don’t you have one?”
“I’m not sure,” once agian, choosing not to explain infertility. Suddenly, the conversation sounds like one I had with my parents when I stayed out too late–trying to plead the fifth.
“Do you and Mr. M live together or are you separated?”
“We live together,” I answer, wondering where in the heck this will go.
“You live together? So why don’t you have a baby?”
Time to change the subject, and quick, before she starts asking about sleeping arrangements, “Priyanka, do you know someone who is separated?”
“Yes, my dad’s sister.”
Apparently, her aunt has dodged giving her a cousin by playing the “separated” card….
This past week we have been working on the Mother’s day projects at school. As one of my sweet girls was finishing hers up, she says,” I was thinking that maybe you would like a surprise for mother’s day. Would you like that?”
I smile and say,” But I”m not a mother!”
Sweet girl #2 says,” But you are married.” (Here we go again…..)
I then explain a few terms,” When you are married, you are a wife. You’re not a mother until you have a child.”
Sweet girl #1, ” So you don’t get a surprise on Mother’s day?”
As tempted as I am to put in a plug for a free gift, I clarify one more time,” I am not a mother. I”m a teacher, but not a mother. I am giving a present to my mother for Mother’s day, but I don’t have a child to give me a present for Mother’s day.”
“Oh. So you don’t need a surprise for that day?” askes sweet girl #1 for clarification.
“Well, you are kind of like our mother,” says sweet girl #2.
Ah, but not so much as your own mother, I think to myself. I am a trusted caregiver yes, but not actually a mother. Not this year, anyway….
She’s due in August, which means she’ll take her time picking, but also, if we are it, we will have a little time to prepare too!
Our agency says what yours does, Rachael–don’t do too much beforehand, and things will all fall into place. They recommend the 3 C’s– carseat, camera, clothes to be ready to take to the hospital. Then they say “Call your mother or 1 good friend ….when you get home with the baby, it will all be there. If it isn’t , call us and we have extras you can use!”
So there you have it! It’s all way too surreal. I’ll be sure to keep this “posted”….
Other random thought pertaining to this:
We have no girl name. We have a boy name, but no girl name!
If we need a girl name, I guess it’s a good problem to have!!