Gotcha Baby

…..is getting spruced up!

In less than one week, it’s been painted on the inside, had it’s sagging Master Bath repaired and carpet replaced. It’s clutter has been stowed away. It’s been scrubbed from top to bottom.

There are still a few random things to do– can you find the weirdo things that are in our listing photos?

Now I wait. I wait for the phone to ring to say “It’s show time!”

taken while we still had snow cover--better than an empty bed of mulch!

You can't see inside it, but the oven is CLEAN! Also, what's missing?

The 2nd BR. Something is missing, but what??

The only wrong in this photo is the season. I am hopeful that we won't be here to see the pool open. But we may get another pool key made....

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In all of its staged glory, posing for house listing photos

I set my timer for three minutes. Here’s what I got down:

Right now, as I scrawl this down on paper, Jr. sits, sippy cup in hand, on our purple couch, watching Elmo’s World.

It’s 8yrs old, and has been along the wall in our home since it was delivered a week after we moved in. The whole set (couch, loveseat, chair) was a house-warming gift from my parents– we picked it out and sent them the bill.

We’d been married a year, had a purchased a car together, and signed on a mortgage together, but this was our joint first furniture purchase. We got it at L.S. Ayres, from a very swarmy salesman. He was hairy, wore many gold rings and had tattoos on all of his fingers.  He sold us on the purple.

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That’s what I got down in 3 minutes. Seriously? Three minutes is a very short time to write about something you sit on every.single.day. Something that you’ve fed babies on. Something those babies have peed on, puked on, slept on and now jump on like it’s a trampoline. Something that’s anchored our open-floor plan townhouse for eight years. Something that’s going to be moving with us, whenever that happens…………..

Anyway, for the details as to why I’m writing about my couch, here’s the whole story at Adventures in Babywearing.

Snow White on the purple couch,getting ready to Trick or Treat

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So posting these days is sparse. Between the everyday (work-small children-cleaning up after small children-collapsing into to bed to do it again) and the Holy Crap! We’re Listing our House! excitement, there’s little time left to form coherent sentences and type them.

SO.

Here are few things which may click your fancy:

Have you seen the shower Stephanie is hosting for Beth? I mean, really, have you ever seen anything like it? Every day there is a new giveaway for a reader, and there is also a prize for Beth. How sweet is that?

The BlogHer Room of Your Own voting is going strong!! If you are going, or if you are not, take some time to peruse these topics. Basically, BlogHer asked the community to put together their own panels, and based on the popular vote, these panels will be part of the BlogHer ‘10 conference in NYC. I am registered for BlogHer ‘10 (which is crazy, and really, my goal is to post maybe 10x before the conference).

I am also privelaged to be part of two proposals– the Grown in My Heart writers’ proposal, which focuses on how much to share (mainly revolving around adoption, infertility and loss), which is a topic I struggle with daily. Do you want to read about my kid’s poop? Do you want to know more about Jane? How does Jane feel about that? How will Mam feel about being documented like she has?

The second proposal has been put together by my dear friend Just Heather, mastermind behind Inexpensively as well as the 40×40 project. She’s a frugal alphabet-dater who has developed a great idea as well–what do you do when you start blogging about a finite journey–i.e, her 40×40 project, a weight loss mission, a wedding, or say, the road to adopting. You hit your goal/complete your mission–then what??

Now to get either of the panels to fly, we need your vote! All you need to do is register for the BlogHer site (if you don’t have an account already) and then go to the Room of Your Own page. I’ve yet to find it through the site, so here’s the link: http://www.blogher.com/room-of-your-own-10

Once you’re there, click on the proposal you’d like to vote for, and at the top of the description is an option for “I would attend this topic” or something like that. Click on it once. Then it switches to “I would not attend this topic”. That’s the signal you’ve voted successfully. There are many great proposals, so go nuts and vote for what sounds good to you!

Ok. Off to clean the blinds, scrub the doors and cross my fingers that this house sells fast!

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We’ve been busy here around Casa de Kahuna since deciding that our big goal for 2010 is to move on from this here townhouse. We have met with a Realtor, gotten pre-approved for a mortgage, and have been touching up little things around the house every chance we get. Our biggest accomplishment so far, though, has been filling a 16′ x 8′ POD. POD, you ask? You know, those nifty storage containers that get delivered and whisked away by a special truck? That kind of POD.

Would a self-storage unit been a little cheaper? Yes.

Would I have lost my sanity in attempting to load the van one load a time to move into said storage unit? Yes.

Would it have been near impossible with all of the snow we’ve gotten this weekend? Yes.

Would I have cried when it was time to empty the storage unit and move it? Yes.

Clearly, it was worth the extra bucks to go this route. So we started packing about a month ago, and once the boxes were stacked around the garage and the house to the point that we couldn’t really do any more, we knew it was time. My parents came down for a visit and took the kids out for several hours while @bgkahuna and I worked our tails off. We pretty much filled 128 sq ft (to the 8′ ceiling) with a few feet to spare.

What’s funny is that I can’t really even tell you what’s in that POD. Oh sure there’s the double bed, the extra dresser and  the kids’ stuff. But the entire box labeled “top of dresser/nightstand”? The entire box labeled “extra towels and placemats”? Is it really necessary? And the boxes of toys…sure there are toys that they will be happy to see again, but I am considering NOT unpacking a few boxes….and wrapping them up instead and re-gifting them back to the kids at Christmas.

Tonight @bgkahuna asked if I thought we could live like this at the new place–sans 128 sq ft of crap. I’m thinking it’s worth a shot. I am seriously considering NOT opening some of those “misc” boxes and just setting them aside for a few months. After a few months, I’ll just take those unopened boxes to Goodwill. And become a lot more particular about what crosses the threshold of our new home! (which by the way, we’ve not yet even started to look for yet)

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When Marcie announced the topic of this month’s carnival was Reform, it took me awhile to come up with what I’d like to reform. After some thought, I think what I’d change first is this: I would make open adoption the standard in the domestic adoption.

Five years ago while we were homestudy approved and waiting, we got a call from our agency asking if we’d be open to open adoption. It wasn’t a guarantee that our placement would be open, nor would it require us to make our placement open, but it we would be agreeing to put that possibility on the table.

Five years into my life as an adoptive parent in an open adoption, I can’ t imagine it any other way. I can’t imagine not knowing. Even in open adoption, we don’t know everything, but we have the basic information needed to explore and search further.

I’m beginning to think that it shouldn’t be an option to not exchange identifying information. That in typical cases, the biological parents should meet, in person, the adoptive parents.

Does that sound scary to you? Five years ago it sounded a little scary to me. Turns out, it really hasn’t been all that scary at all.

My reasoning for this is simple: Knowing is important. Having information is important. I’m not suggesting a co-parenting arrangement, or even that both families need to be in constant communication. Logistics may not make visits a frequent possibility, but contact is important.  But think about all the searching, agony, guessing and wondering that could be eliminated with the exchange of basic information. Think about the good a few photographs can do for all. The photos of my children with their birth parents are precious to me. Jane’s told me that photos of our family are precious to her. Visits are important. For my children to know their biological mother’s voice? To know her mannerisms? To know her style and preferences? These are gifts I can’t give my children. She can, and she does. I am glad our children are growing up in open adoptions.

Want to know more about what open adoption *should* look like? I found www.openadoption.org , and I think it’s a good place to start.

Want to know what else should be reformed? Join the discussion and link-up at Grown in My Heart!

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